Wash, rinse…repeat

Chemo #4 is in the books and I just now feel like I am coming out of the post infusion fog. It has become quite a familiar cycle at this point. I go in for my treatment on Thursday (IV in on the first time again! I am so thankful) and then spend the next few days in a puddle on my couch passing my time with reading, TV and whatnot. My cheeks and lips get tingly and numb and I can even have some vision problems…but it always goes away. It is difficult to drink a lot of water but I force myself. My brain feels like it’s been removed from my head and there are times when trying to remember a word feels like I am pulling it from an endless abyss. I have a regiment of medicine I need to take at certain times on certain days…it was overwhelming at first but now is automatic and I can apparently even do it without a brain. :-)

This was my weekend but there always comes a moment when I can feel the side effects shifting. When I feel my energy returning and like I’m coming back to the land of the living. Today I passed that moment and I can feel the #4 post chemo dip moving behind me. I still have side effects but they become less severe the further I get from the infusion. I am thankful that nausea still has not been a problem and that I have the space to be a chemo-zombie for a few days. I have so much respect for people who go through this with major family and life obligations. I can tell there is an accumulation effect from the treatments because the “dip” is a bit longer and heavier every time. I hate this process but I will concentrate on the fact that I have 2 weeks until my next round and only 2 more rounds until I am DONE!

Happy Tuesday…

Lynnea

 

Chemo Denial

Well…it appears to be that time again. I’m never quite ready for it. I actually almost missed my blood draw this morning because my brain hasn’t quite accepted the fact that I get my 4th chemo infusion tomorrow. This cycle has gone by extremely fast and I was beginning to feel fully like myself. It’s hard to face the fact that my body will get kicked again and I then get to wait and see how it will rebound over the next few weeks. But it’s the 4th infusion out of 6 so after tomorrow only 2 more to go!! :-)

Bacharach, Germany

We were very fortunate to have some visitors last week. If you follow the blog you saw theurgent appeal for my uncle’s bag. It hasn’t shown up yet but we are still praying for a miracle…it’s a lot to lose. But outside the unfortunate beginning to their trip we really had a wonderful time and it was great to see them. On top of their visit my good friend Miciah booked a last minute trip to see us also. She and I took a quick jaunt down to the Rhine valley in Germany for a couple days. We wandered through quaint German villages and were overwhelmed by the number of castles in this region. The weather was decent enough

Jen and Miciah in Utrecht

 

and it was so good for my spirit to hang out with her and get out of town. On our way home we stopped by Utrecht and stayed with another good friend, Jen, in Amsterdam. It was an excellent weekend. I felt strong and like myself again…I think that’s why it’s especially hard to go in for the next infusion tomorrow. But this will pass.

 

 

 

Also, in case you’re interested my chemo menu for tomorrow (Thanks Casey Evans for the Facebook inspiration :-) ):

Avocado Egg Salad wraps and homemade strawberry rhubarb crumble

Click here for the: Avocado Egg Salad recipe

Low Sugar Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble recipe

I modified the egg salad a little bit with some lemon juice and paprika but it is excellent. I’ll put it in a whole wheat wrap for a healthy chemo treat.

Blessings,

Lynnea

 

URGENT Request

Our aunt and uncle came to visit us last night on the tail end of a year long sabbatical last evening. We are very excited to see them but on their journey up my uncle’s computer bag was stolen off the train. The hardware is nothing but I can’t describe how precious and irreplaceable the contents are.

Unfortunately the computer contained the novel he had been pouring his heart into for 10 years…and devastatingly the back up copies. The bag also contained an art book with sketches and thoughts that have been collected through the years.  I can’t tell you how heart breaking this is to lose this work.

We know the thieves got off at Duivendrecht and are probably based somewhere in Amsterdam and will wipe the computer and dump the things they can’t use. My uncle will pay a reward for the return of anything no questions asked- honestly way more than thieves will get for the computer. 

We know this is a long shot but friends in the Netherlands…please forward this post to see if we can recover some of these irreplaceable items. Or if you have any suggestions on where we can look or what we can do. Please reply to this blog or email me at lmpaddock12@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for your help.

Lynnea

Contents:

- The bag was a black heavy canvass computer bag with back pack  and shoulder straps. The bag had a name tag with this information:  

Jack Eastwood, 6 Mullock Street, St. John’s, Newfoundland,  Canada, A1C 2R5 (709) 579-3263

and had a message “reward offered for the return of this bag” at the bottom.

- The computer is an old white Macbook, dropped once, duct taped on the bottom right corner.

As well as the computer inside there was a black LaCie 500GB Hard drive,  two disc holders with CD’s andDVD’s of photos, a novel “The Red Car” and other information and one A4 size sketch book with drawings of artwork and furniture designs. 

 

 

 

 

 

Ladies Run Groningen

I’ve had many people use the word inspiration in relation to me and this process. I guess the thing I should say is thank you, but it’s still an adjective that I have a hard time accepting for myself. Stubborn, yep that one works. Strong, that one is also a bit easier for me to see. Fighter…absolutely. But inspiration is still a funny one. I suppose I’ll work on it. :-)

I’ve talked about this before, but the hardest thing for me about this cancer thing and the treatment process is feeling like your life is no longer in your control. I have a mile long list of medicine and appointments. I am stuck crossing my fingers after a chemo infusion wondering which side effects are going to roll through my body. I can’t make plans very far in advance because I never know how I’m going to feel. It seems like everything right now is just happening to me and I fight to maintain who I am as a person through it all. This is where the stubborn-ness comes in quite handy because I won’t give up.

I am a runner but I haven’t really done any running since I started chemo. Obviously. I have my chemo-exercise program to help maintain my fitness level but for the last 3 months I’d only run once…1.5 weeks ago right before my last infusion. I made a decision that (as much as I am able) I am going to keep running during chemo. It’s what I like to do. So…inspired by all my family and friends supporting me in various “Race for the Cures”, I signed up for the Ladies Run Groningen. This is an event that supports the Pink Ribbon Foundation for breast cancer resources and research. Perfect. It was a beautiful day and I had 2 lovely friends join me for a 5k jog around the city. I ran slow, but I ran the whole way and finished strong. I was pretty happy after not running for a few months, but hopefully I will be able to make it a more regular event. I really think that exercise and keeping my body strong helps to minimize the side effects of chemo. Even if it doesn’t it helps keep me from going crazy which is always a positive. Here’s some photos from the event thanks to my wonderful husband Jonathan:

Blessings,

Lynnea

Creative Outlet

 

So far the side effects after the 3rd chemo infusion have been MUCH better than the last round. I even managed to avoid a 24 hour fever that Jonathan picked up. Whew! The main problems continue to be a sore throat/horrible taste in my mouth and mild neuropathy that comes and goes. But no nausea and debilitating fatigue so I’ll take it.

Things continue to be a bit quiet on the blogging front because I am not currently in a place where I’m being extremely introspective. I still read and give myself space to journal. But in general, I’ve been content to just sit and let my body and mind rest. I needed a week where I didn’t have to go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone, think about anything in particular.  I watched movies when I wanted to and took naps when I needed to it was great. And actually this freedom inspired me to break out my jewelry making stuff and create. Fortunately the neuropathy was never bad enough to prevent me from working with my tools.

I have a 3 drawer chest full of an assortment of beads, wire, clasps, pendants (you get the idea) but it’s difficult for me to be inspired by materials I’ve had for years. However, I’ve given myself the challenge to use up the materials I already have before I can purchase anything new. I needed to impose this challenge because I used to have a bad habit of buying things I liked but never actually used them…any other crafters out there will understand. :-)

But since I don’t have much to say right now I thought I’d show you what I’ve created:

Blessings,

Lynnea