Monthly Archives: March 2013

Write it out

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I guess before I was a “blogger” I was already a writer…but in journals and much more personal. It was a big step to send some of those thoughts out to the internet for y’all. Journaling is freeing. I don’t have to worry about grammar or whether my thoughts flow and make sense. I am free to just pour my feelings out on the page. I find that the physical act of writing focuses me and helps me to process through emotions. When I am left to just think my brain can run away and wind up in an endless spin cycle. Writing helps my thoughts have a direction.

Here are some of the benefits I have found with journaling…especially during a storm season. 1. I can look back and see how far I have come. How God has answered prayers and how I have been transformed as a person 2. It keeps feelings from being trapped inside 3. I found more acceptance for myself. If I wanted to write about the same feeling 2 days in a row…2 weeks…2 months in a row it didn’t matter. I was free to be honest without judgment. If I wanted to draw pictures…I drew pictures. It was a space to explore myself. I could write to myself…to God…to other people in my life. Sometimes I transferred these thoughts to e-mails most times I didn’t. 4. When I see the words on a page they become more real to me and often I need that. I have written sentences and just sat and started at them waiting for the reality to sink in. One from a year ago:

“I am 31 and I have Breast Cancer”.

I would come back to that over and over until it was no longer shocking…until I was able to accept my new reality.

Starting to journal can be a bit intimidating if you’re not used to it. Here are a few ideas:

  • Let go of the idea of there being a “right” way to journal. You can even start your journal by writing “I’m not really sure how this is going to turn out for me but…” Write questions, write emotions, write hopes/dreams, write prayers. This is for you. Don’t judge yourself if you don’t write everyday or fill volumes and volumes. Use it as a tool to get to know yourself and document your process.
  • Buy a journal you like and are inspired by. I like to collect my thoughts in beautiful books. Some people are content with a plain sketch book or want their journals to be all the same. I select a journal by how I am feeling at the moment I am starting it. This is a photo of my last 3 journals (all of them by Paper Blanks):Photo1(4)The blue one I selected when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer…I wanted something soothing and calming The orange/brown one I selected when I was exploring my desert season The illuminated Gutenberg Bible (Genesis) is the one I am just starting because right now I am holding on to how God has been faithful through the generations.
  • Use a pen you like to write with. I like Gel Rollers. The words just seem to glide from the end. :-)
  • Find an inspiring location. Maybe it’s a park…maybe it’s a café…maybe it’s in a chair in the sun.

Happy writing.

Lynnea

Free to love

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I don’t often listen to “Christian” music…most of the time it comes across as a bit sappy and lacking any emotional reality. But I have a Spotify list that I turn on every once in a while and a song We are Free by Aaron Shust caught my attention (not necessarily in a good way – sorry Aaron):

The chorus is what stands out to me:

We are free to love like our god has loved we are free to give like he gave
We are free from sin we are free to begin to forgive as he forgave.
–> With blue skies and sunshine and soaring chords

I absolutely believe these words are true but, as Christians, are we ready to accept the reality of them? When I hear a song like this it is easy to get swept up in the melody and passively sing along with the lyrics…content to let the words wash over me without taking a moment to step back and evaluate what “loving like he loved”, “giving like he gave” and “forgiving like he forgave” look like in my life.

Today is the beginning of Passover (a Jewish holiday remembering the Hebrew people being freed from slavery and Israel being established as a new nation) and is celebrated with food, family and friends. The (arguably) most famous account of a Passover dinner is “The Last Supper”…the last meal Jesus shared with his intimate friends before he was arrested, humiliated, beaten and crucified…to be resurrected on Easter Sunday. This dinner has been the inspiration for countless works of art and I have found myself reflecting on its significance this year.

OK…here’s a really basic synopsis and paraphrase: There is Jesus, who knows he is about to be cruelly executed and suffer TREMENDOUSLY (physically and emotionally). He sits down to dinner with his closest friends. Friends who have been with him night and day…listened to him…laughed with him…prayed with him…shared life with him…but still Jesus on the crosscan’t really see him for who he is. Judas is at the table and has already made the decision to betray him by turning him over to the authorities and ultimately to his death. He looks at the rest of the disciples and knows that they are also weak and will deny him at this most desperate time. They are arguing about who will be the greatest and Jesus knows that once he is dead they will be terrified and run away to hide. He knows that he will be abandoned and that they will break his heart but he STILL LOVES them. He washes their feet and gives them one last urgent sermon…tells them to love each other as He loved them…to lay their lives down for each other…He is about to leave them but they wont be alone…he is telling them but they can’t hear it…he knows they are blind and can’t fully understand what he is saying but over and over he is talks about how much he loves them…how much God the father loves them and wants them to know Him…to follow the way he lived his life. Jesus looks at them and says “I love you. I want the best for you. I want freedom for you. I want REAL life and joy for you. I want you to know me. I want you to love this world like I love it.”

He knows these are still the same men who will turn their backs on him in a few hours. Betraying him. Abandoning him. Allowing fear and self preservation to consume them. Jesus knew they couldn’t understand what he was saying but he told them anyway because someday they would. He urgently wants them to know how much he absolutely loves them and is proving it by dying in their place.

OK…wow. Loving like Jesus loved is not necessarily a cheerful upbeat song. It is personal and requires a tremendous amount of sacrifice and humility. Loving someone means truly wanting the best for them. And it’s not just loving the people that are easy to love…it means loving the bad people too…the people who have hurt you. People who have wounded you with hard hearts and selfish choices.

  • It can be an injustice in your past
  • Maybe someone used you in a relationship
  • If there is a person whose mere name makes your blood boil
  • Someone at work stabbed you in the back
  • ….the list goes on

God loves them too!! You see the world differently when viewed through the lens of how much you are loved and forgiven. Do you look at this world with compassion and see blind, wounded people just trying to live life and find love and affirmation (probably in the wrong places)? Or do you see their behavior and put them in a box with judgement? Can you see through their choices and have mercy on the hurting heart that made them? Or do you want to stand on righteousness? Please keep in mind I am writing this as much to myself as anyone. And I don’t mean we need to live life without boundaries. Jesus took time to care for himself. Loving someone does not protect them from consequences but allows the truth to be revealed.

But on the cross…as Jesus was dying he said…Father forgive them for they know not what they do. Basically – They are blind.

So yes, we are free to love like he loved, give like he gave, forgive like he forgave…and actually living life that way is the only TRUE freedom…but let’s not pretend it is as easy or happy as our songs may make it seem. Maybe if more Christians truly lived life this way it would be easier to convince people that it is actually “Good News” rather than a list of rules.

Looking forward to Easter,

Lynnea

Active Waiting

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On Monday, I wrote about a song that has inspired my “waiting” this year and today I am going to write about how to be active while you wait. Actively waiting may seem like a bit of a contradiction but our storm/desert seasons are profound moments God uses to mold and shape us.

Waiting is not a very popular attitude. Waiting is not something that people think about with great sympathy. In fact, most people consider waiting a waste of time. Perhaps this is because the culture in which we live is basically saying, “Get going! Do something! Show you are able to make a difference! Don’t just sit there and wait!” For many people, waiting is an awful desert between where they are and where they want to go. And people do not like such a place. They want to get out of it by doing something…

From “Waiting for God” by Henri JM Nouwen

Waiting. Everyone has had to do it. Waiting for the elevator. Waiting for Christmas. Waiting for someone. Waiting for a situation to change. Waiting for treatment to be over. Waiting for healing. We don’t like waiting because by definition there is something we want that we can’t have (yet). We become focused on what we are waiting for…either by trying to get there faster or by trying “not to think about it”. This type of focus takes a lot of energy.

When I was in Jordan this past fall (if you’re interested you can read about it here) I was often reminded of the 40 years the Hebrew people spent in the wilderness before God allowed them to enter the promised land. 40 years?! Yikes…that’s a long time to be waiting. They were oppressed and captives in Egypt…God performed some powerful miracles to break them free…God promised to establish them in a land flowing with “milk and honey” (read: pretty sweet place :-) )…and then had them wait in the desert…and not just wait for a year or two but 4 decades. I imagine I would lose hope because right now I can get frustrated with waiting for a month or two. But Israel actually needed this waiting period. They weren’t going to go from slaves to an independent nation overnight they actually needed a season to grow and become ready…a desert season.

It got me thinking about my own current desert season and how much time I spend focused on what I am waiting for…my “promised land”. I have absolutely no control over certain things in my life and I have to continually let them go. When I let go and admit there’s nothing I can do to influence the waiting time it is easy for me to down shift into a passive mindset. “Things will happen the way they are going to happen…I just need to sit back and let it unfold.” While there are certain things I need to let go of there are probably many opportunities to embrace my own internal change.

Next question…how do you figure out what you would like to or need to work on?

  1. Were there choices you made that got you into the storm season? Do you know why you made them? This may be an opportunity to explore and understand some of the wounds in your life and see how they have influenced your path. With understanding comes the ability to make better choices in the future.
  2. Get to know God better…Book recommendations: The Bible (maybe try The Message translation), “The Jesus I never Knew” by Philip Yancey, “Mere Christianity” C.S. Lewis, “Knowing God” by J.I. Packer. Get to know yourself better…take a personality test (www.humanmetrics.com) find out where you get energy and how you make decisions.
  3. Is there something you would like to study? or need to study? Maybe it’s time to go back to school for another degree. Maybe it’s joining a hobby course. Read some non-fiction books. Maybe it is teaching yourself a new skill. Is there something you have just always wanted to know more about? Photography, Cooking, Painting, etc. Take a step back out of the reality of your life. If you didn’t have all the practical constraints what would you love to do? If you can’t answer that…give yourself a little bit of space to soul search. OK, now mentally step back into reality and see if there is a creative way to work your interests in.
  4. Evaluate your fears. What are they keeping you from? Do you need to move? Change churches? Step out of people’s expectations? Has life become too “safe”? For years people have been telling me that I should sell my jewelry. I always said no because I didn’t want to turn my hobby into a job and take the fun out of it. Reasonable right? I sat back last month and was very honest with myself…Is that the whole reason? No, not totally. I was insecure that what I made would never be good enough and fears that people wouldn’t actually want to pay for them? What if they criticize me? How do I put myself out there like that? Well…I can tell you that after living through this last year I had to laugh at myself a little bit. Seriously, what is a bad review in the grand scheme of things? :-) So, I decided to give it a whirl…I will use the money I raise to fly home to Seattle more often and I can always stop if I don’t like it. This is part of my “living” in 2013. I will start with my trees but might expand to other items. You can look for the store opening sometime in mid-April. Get excited.
  5. Are there disciplines you want to explore? Yoga, running, meditation?
  6. There are some interesting practical tips on active waiting at www.selfgrowth.com

If you have any other suggestions for “active waiting” please leave them in the comments section. Til next Wednesday.

Blessings,

Lynnea

PS – You can follow this link for a sneak peak at my online store – Burning Brightly
I will be out of town until the middle of April but will open it up for sales then…eek it’s really happening :-)

I will wait

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I am often encouraged by music and the latest Mumford and Sons album Babel (released September 2012) came at a perfect time for me. I enjoy this band with their folksy banjo riffs and indie rock vibe. The song I keep coming back to is “I will wait”. They are not a “Christian” band (Honestly, what is that anyway??) but their lyrics are deep, spiritual and often bring tears to my eyes. When I listen to this song I think of redemption and restoration…and it inspires me to wait for Jesus and his timing.

There is a lot I could say (and honestly probably will :-) ) but here are some of my favorite lyrics.

Well I came home like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of dust which we’ve known
Will blow away with this new sun

I can physically feel these words. You know those days when you are so exhausted it takes all the energy you can manage just to collapse on the couch? I imagine my body feeling like that and my heart/spirit heavy like a rock…barely able to take tiny steps forward…then I imagine using my last bit of strength and collapsing…not onto a couch but into God’s arms. There is strength and protection there. I picture the cares and concerns weighing me down blowing away like dust in the wind…sometimes the “blowing” is more like a sandstorm but eventually the sun comes out and reveals the new life underneath. I love this image.

And I’ll kneel down wait for now
And I’ll kneel down know my ground

I don’t know if you are a “kneeler”. :-) I am at times. I find it to be a posture of humility and recognition that everything I have in my life is a gift. It is a peaceful posture. It is vulnerable. You aren’t going to be moving anywhere quickly. Sometimes it hurts a little but somehow praying on my knees helps me to recognize more deeply how desperately I need Jesus. I love the next line about knowing your ground. It is easier to wait when you know what or who you are waiting for. It is also easier when you know what or who holds you up during the process. What is the foundation beneath your knees? What do you rest on while you are waiting? Is it solid? Is it quicksand? Do you know it? My ground was remembering who God is…and becoming more familiar with his works and promises. Knowing my ground. He has been faithful through the generations…He loves me more than I can hope to comprehend…He promises to heal and redeem me. His character is constant and doesn’t change with me or my circumstances. I can kneel and wait on a firm foundation…my rock.

So I’ll be bold as well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So tame my flesh and fix my eyes
A tethered mind free from the lies

When I find myself “waiting” I can be very reactionary. Most of the time I am waiting because I am not able to have something I want. Sometimes I know the timeline…most times I don’t. And when I don’t know the timeline I can grab onto the first thing that may move me closer to what I want. Often that is not the best idea. So using my head AND my heart really resonates with me. When you just react it is mostly emotional. Also, the image of taming and tethering makes me think of a young horse in the process of being broken and trained. It is initially wild and out of control…fighting for its own way against the will of the trainer…slowly, with time and discipline it submits and allows itself to follow commands. It lives a much more peaceful life without the intense struggle. We can be like that horse and fight very hard for our own way. But ultimately we fight against God because we have wrapped ourselves in lies. Lies of entitlement. Lies of idols. Lies of identity. Lies of value. As those lies are broken and we begin to see the truth and fix our eyes on Jesus…our lives will become more peaceful and free…and it also becomes easier (Note I said easIER…not easy :-) ) to wait and trust. 

Here is a simplified overview of the story the lyrics tell…it’s basically a Psalm. My spirit is heavy and weak…I fall into your arms and need you to transform my life…I remember your faithfulness and trust you as I wait..I will remember everything I have been forgiven….as I kneel and seek you I will be transformed more and more into your likeness and freed from the lies of this world. My hands will be raised and my spirit will be gold.

Good stuff.

Blessings,

Lynnea

 

Sometimes you just need to…

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Cry. Break something. Have a dance party with or without music. Yell at the top of your lungs. Laugh at yourself. Sprint down the block. Do something with complete abandon…regardless of what people think or how silly you feel. Just let your heart move you without judgement. Release. Don’t over think. Get out of your head.Bad day

I had a different post prepared for today in my Storm Survival series but it didn’t feel right. I looked back through the last few weeks and realized that I have written a lot about the disciplines that have helped me through this season. They are still important but sometimes you just need to bloody let loose. Let go of the shoulds. Let go of your ideas of what is appropriate and what isn’t (within reason :-) ). Let go of needing to be strong. Let go of holding it together. Do something stupid and silly just because you want to. Yell loud. Laugh hard.

We spend too much time judging and evaluating our feelings…give yourself a moment to release. And then go back to the juggling and holding it together because I recognize that is a reality of life. But allow a small space of absolute freedom even if people think you are crazy.

Practical Tips:

  1. If you don’t have plates you are willing to part with already go to Goodwill, Value Village or another second hand store and buy a few. I imagine you know what to do now. :-) Just make sure you smash them in a place that is easy to clean up.
  2. Strap on your running shoes and run start with a little warm up…but then run as fast as you can for as long as you physically can…imagine yourself running away from your troubles. Stop and walk. Feel the blood pumping through your body. Feel your breath slowly returning. Repeat this as many times as you need.
  3. Have a dance party in your house. My go to dance music right now is anything by Mary J Blige…I need some strong lady action with a good beat.
  4. Take a deep breath and just yell. You might feel silly. Do it anyway. If you really can’t bring yourself to yell out loud then yell into a pillow. Just let it come from deep within without limiting it. Yell until you don’t feel like doing it any longer. Maybe yell until you start laughing. It will be good for your soul.

If you have any other suggestions feel free to leave them in the comments section. Til next week. Remember this too shall pass just take it one day at a time.

Blessings,

Lynnea

The Hurt & The Healer

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I have listened to this song by MercyMe several times today and decided I would put it out there for you guys to enjoy. :-)

Why?
The question that is never far away
But healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

(Chorus)
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

(Chorus)
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”

(Chorus)
I’m alive
And even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here

Blessings,

Lynnea

The Blind See

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I was given Anthony de Mello’s book “The Way to Love” for Christmas and LOVE it. He was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who lived in Bombay, India. His writing completely challenges conventional thoughts about love, relationships, addictions and freedom. This is a passage I read recently that really struck me. It’s a little long but absolutely worth it…(the bold, italics and definitions are mine)

The Blind See

“For judgement I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may become blind.” John 9:39

It is said that love is blind. But is it? Actually nothing on this earth is as clearsighted as love. The thing that is blind is not love but attachment. An attachment is a state of clinging that comes from a false belief that something or someone is necessary for your happiness. Do you have any attachments – people or things that you falsely believe you could not be happy without? Make a list of them right now before we go on to study how exactly they blind you.

Think of a politician who has convinced himself he will not be happy unless he gets political power. His quest for power coarsens his sensitivity to the rest of life. He barely has time for his family and friends. Suddenly all human beings are perceived and reacted to in terms of the support or threat that they are to his ambition. And those who can neither threaten nor support he does not even notice. If in addition to his craving for power he has an attachment to other things like sex or money, the poor man has become so selective in his perceptions that he could almost be said to be blind. Everyone sees this except the man himself. This is the condition that leads to the rejection of truth and beauty and goodness, because one has come to be blind to perceive them.

Now think of yourself listening to an orchestra in which the sound of the drum is so loud that nothing else can be heard. To enjoy the symphony you must be responsive to every instrument in the orchestra. To be in the state called love you must be sensitive to the uniqueness and beauty of every single thing and person around you. You can hardly be said to love what you do not even notice; and if you notice only a few beings to the exclusion of others, that is not love at all, for love excludes no one at all; it embraces the whole of life; it listens to the symphony as a whole, not just one or the other of the musical instruments.

Stop for a while now to see how your attachments drain life’s symphony no less than the politician’s attachment to power and the businessman’s attachment to money have hardened them to the melody of life. Or look at the matter in another way: There is an enormous amount of information that is continuously flowing in from the world through the senses, the tissues of the organs of your body. Only a small part of this information reaches your conscious mind. It is like the infinite amount of feedback that is sent to the President of a nation: Only a tiny fraction finally makes its way to him. Somebody does the screening and the processing at the President’s office. Who decides what will finally make its way to your conscious mind from all the material that is pouring in from the world? Three decisive filters: First your attachments, second your beliefs, and third your fears.

Your attachments: You will inevitably look for what fosters or threatens them and turn a blind eye to the rest. You won’t be interested in the rest anymore than the avaricious (greedy/covetous) businessman is interested in anything that does not involve the making of money.

Your beliefs: Just take a look at a fanatic who only notices what confirms his/her belief and blocks out whatever threatens it and you will understand what your beliefs are doing to you.

Your fears: If you knew you were to be executed in a week’s time it would wonderfully concentrate your mind to the exclusion of everything else. That is what fears do; they irresistibly rivet your attention on to some things to the exclusion of others.

You falsely think that your fears protect you, your beliefs have made you what you are and your attachments make your life exciting and secure. You fail to see that they are actually a screen between you and life’s symphony.

It is quite impossible, of course, to be fully conscious of every note in life’s symphony. But if your spirit becomes unclogged and your senses open you will begin to perceive things as they really are and to interact with reality and you will be entranced by the harmonies of the universe. Then you will understand what God is, for you will at last know what love is.

Look at it this way: You see persons and things not as they are but as you are. If you wish to see them as they are you must attend to your attachments and the fears that your attachments generate. Because when you look at life it is these attachments and fears that will decide what you notice and what you block out. Whatever you notice then commands your attention. And since your looking has been selective you have an illusory (deceptive, misleading) version of the things and people around you. The more you live with this distorted version the more you become convinced that it is the only true picture of the world because your attachments and fears continue to process incoming data in a way that will reinforce your picture. This is what gives origin to your beliefs: fixed, unchanging ways of looking at a reality which is not fixed and unchanging at all but in movement and change. So it is no longer the real world that you interact with and love but a world created by your head. It is only when you drop your beliefs, your fears and the attachments that breed them that you will be freed from the insensitivity that makes you so deaf and blind to yourself and the world.

Congratulations if you made it to the end, hopefully you found it worthwhile. There are many ways that we become blind to the world around us but I came up with some examples of things that can be our filter to life’s symphony:

Attachments (Things I think I need to me happy): success, perfectionism, sex, money, control, substances, affirmation, relationships

Beliefs: I’m not good enough, I can do it on my own, If they really knew me they wouldn’t love me, I’m always right, I’m always wrong

Fears: loneliness, vulnerability, judgement, being hurt, rejection, insecurity

Here’s to fully experiencing life’s symphony without a filter.

Blessings,

Lynnea

Lenten Check – In

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We are now at about the half way point in the Lenten season. There are 3 more weeks until Good Friday and I wanted to send out a little check in note. If you chose to add something or abstain from something how is it going? In the past I have found Lent decisions to be kind of like New Year’s resolutions. I’m enthusiastic about it for a couple weeks or so and then it becomes less intentional until I forget about it. 40 days can be long. And if I break a fast during Lent I can feel an extra layer of guilt because I let God down or just give up because “Now that I’ve broken my commitment I suppose there’s no use continuing for the rest of the time”. This is where I have to remind myself that it was never about me to begin with. It was never about what I did or didn’t do or if I did or didn’t do it perfectly. It is about Jesus and the grace offered to us on the cross and the freedom in his resurrection. Period.

I did something different for Lent this year…normally I wouldn’t talk about it but I think it may be helpful for some people out there. My personality tends towards perfectionism and I can very easily be caught in the trap of legalism and somehow thinking that I am “earning” my way. It is easier for me to live in a black and white world with rules that need to be followed and consequences if they are broken. It is much harder for me to accept and rest in the gray/grace filled world God offers. This year for Lent I gave up alcohol…but not completely. Most of the time I choose not to drink but I have allowed myself to pick one day during the week to have drinks with friends. Some people may not think I am actually observing a Lenten fast…I do…and honestly that’s all that matters. When I choose to abstain from alcohol I am absolutely reminded of Jesus’ sacrifice and my dependence on him. When I choose to have some drinks with friends (and if I’m honest I felt a little guilty about it at first – like I was doing something wrong) I am reminded of the gift of grace and that it is absolutely NOT about me. The word that best describes this season for me this year is Freedom and it has been such a blessing.

So, I can say this…wherever you are at…maybe you are diligently observing your Lenten commitments…Maybe you started strong and lost focus…Maybe you never made any commitments. It’s not about you and it is never too late to start. There is nothing magic about the full 40 days. It is about making an intentional effort to prepare your heart for Easter. You can start (or restart) now… It is ultimately about recognizing the price Jesus paid for your life and the freedom that brings.

Blessings,

Lynnea

Gaining Perspective

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You hear about gaining perspective a lot but what exactly is “perspective”? According to the online dictionary perspective can be defined as:

1. a way of regarding situations, facts, etc., and judging their relative importance
2. the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it; objectivity
3. (Fine Arts & Visual Arts / Art Terms) the theory or art of suggesting three dimensions on a two-dimensional surface, in order to recreate the appearance and spatial relationships that objects or a scene in recession present to the eye
4. the appearance of objects, buildings, etc., relative to each other, as determined by their distance from the viewer, or the effects of this distance on their appearance
5. a view over some distance in space or time; vista; prospect
In general it is a way of looking at things from a new angle or in relation to something else. Things look different when they are standing on their own or put in a greater context. When we are caught up in the trials of life it is very easy to be consumed by them and I find that I can very quickly become short sighted and inwardly focused. Have you ever had thoughts like this: “This is the worst”

image source: iwastesomuchtime.com

image source: iwastesomuchtime.com

“No one understands what I am going through” “I don’t know how I am going to manage” It can be easy to think that our pain is “set apart” and that we are alone in the difficulties (even when you have a loving family and friends). Maybe because we are afraid of being vulnerable and are protecting ourselves from disappointment. Or because holding on to the pain and injustice is comforting and if we recognize it in a larger context we might feel compelled to let it go. Sometimes the whole situation is just completely overwhelming and it is hard to even know where to start.

Please bear with my extremely shaky perspective analogy. :-) But as I was writing this I was thinking about TV shopping. Have you ever been into an electronics store and see the massive wall of TVs? It makes my head hurt with all the flashing lights and pictures. There are TVs of every size, color, brand and with a variety of different features. Inevitably the size you thought you wanted looks too small when it is on that wall. You have an endless amount of options and you need to decide what features are important to you. Finally you make a decision and bring your set home. I don’t know about you but a TV that looked smallish in the store looks massive outside it. It’s the same TV but it looks different because the context is gone. I no longer have to compare features but try to understand the features of the TV I purchased.  My focus is narrowed and I can become more critical once I lose the perspective of the other options. The positives and negatives seem to be more glaringly obvious and I can sometimes even forget why I chose one feature over another.  Make sense? Basic premise – Everybody has their own unique features (gifts and hardships) but they look different depending on the context. OK I know it’s a stretch…I warned you the analogy was shaky. :-)
This isn’t meant to tell people to comparison shop their pain…or start the my life is harder than yours game but just put things in a larger human context. Lift your head up and recognize that we (unfortunately) live in a world where there are a lot of hurting people…nobody has a corner on the pain market. When we withdraw and focus only on our lives the hard things can become bigger and more powerful than they really are.
Practical tips:
  1. Find your context. It doesn’t happen by accident. You need to be proactive. Don’t overwhelm yourself with sad stories but expose yourself enough to know that you aren’t the only one facing a difficult period. Talk to people at work/church. If you are more private, blogs are a good place to start. Even doing specific internet searches were helpful for me. One warning – be careful of the tone of the stories you read. Some people can be very negative and that is probably not very helpful.
  2. Turn off Facebook and other social media – SERIOUSLY. I mentioned this before. While I believe taking an honest look at the world and people around you can help with perspective…trying to find it by looking at the digital highlight reel of your friends’ lives can be VERY damaging. Especially during a difficult period. Always remember that people typically only post the positive.
  3. Do things for others. It doesn’t have to be something major but I found thinking of other people to be one of the best ways to gain perspective. Write a card, make cookies, make dinner, volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter. I personally made my trees for people whose stories touched my heart. It helped me tremendously because I was no longer an isolated tree in the desert. But we were a forest of people just trying to survive and thrive.
  4. Join a support group or something similar. Anything that helps you internalize that you are not alone in this difficulty. You are not the first to experience it and you probably won’t be the last. Reach out to the resources that are available.

Feel free to leave any other recommendations in gaining perspective in the comments section. Til next week.

Blessings,

Lynnea

Letting go

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Letting go…easy to say…very difficult to do (for me :-) ). There are a lot of nice Christian sayings…”Let go and let God” or “Surrender everything to God”…I heard those and honestly wanted to follow them. But I realized this year I had absolutely no idea what that really meant. My words were saying “Yes God I am letting go…I trust you, your timing and your provision.” My actions were saying “You know God, I realize you are very busy and I want to make sure my life turns out this particular way…soooo let me help you out. You can have the things I don’t really care about but the ones I do…I’ll hold onto those.” Living life this way is exhausting and then you realize that control is actually an illusion to begin with. I love this artwork by Alisa Holland.

Artwork by Alisa Holland at www.myconcretesky.com

Artwork by Alisa Holland at www.myconcretesky.com or Pinterest

Letting go and not pushing for a particular outcome…standing in the unknown can be terrifying…but I have actually found so much freedom this year when I loosened my grip on things I couldn’t control anyway.

Blessings,

Lynnea