1 year post chemo

Last year on August 15th, 2012 I took the last pill of my final chemo regimen. I. Was. Done. I was bald. I was exhausted. I was relieved. My heart was raw. I was ready for my

1 year post chemo mop...at least my hair keeps growing. :-)

1 year post chemo mop…at least my hair keeps growing. :-)

body to heal. I wanted to move on to and through radiation as fast as possible and get on with finding my “new normal”. It is interesting to reflect back on what life was life last year and how much has changed. I am still searching for my “new normal”…I don’t know why I thought it would be so easy to find. It turns out to be very elusive. Shy. Skittish. I get glimpses and I keep trying to coax it out into my life so I can fully embrace it. The moment I feel like I am starting to establish a routine and rhythm something shifts..AGAIN.

Chemo shut down my hormone production and pushed me abruptly into menopause (read: NOT fun)…a state that continued for the last year with Tamoxifen. And honestly, I thought this would continue for the next 4 years I am taking this medication. I had resigned myself to the hotflashes and night sweats but was actually thankful to not have to deal with all the “other” normal lady stuff for a while. Apparently my body was getting tired of being chemically repressed and staged a coup. It has been a 1.5 month process of guerrilla warfare that has left me confused by symptoms and often in a lot of pain. You don’t over throw big pharma so easily. :-) But now that the dictator has been overthrown I feel like I have an unpredictable rebel government in it’s place. Only time will tell which one is better…but I don’t have a lot of choice in the matter. I’m just caught in the crossfire.

So, my normal has shifted…again. I’m getting better about just rolling with it.

Blessings,

Lynnea

Checking in…

Well hello there blogging world…I am indeed alive. :-) I haven’t been writing as much recently for a variety of reasons and realized that I should at least check in.

In the past my blogging breaks have come when I am navigating a particularly rough emotional season. That is not the case here and I have appreciated the off line messages from friends making sure everything is good. And honestly it really is. Sometimes surprisingly so. I’m just exhausted. I have been trying to go back to work more full time and my energy at the end of the day is gone…especially when it comes to writing.

I had a surprising feeling last Monday morning.

Something I honestly haven’t felt in a while.

I woke up…HAPPY.

It caught me off guard and you know there has to be some divine influence for that to happen on a Monday Morning getting ready for work. :-) It was surreal, I paused for a moment, said a prayer of thanksgiving and thought…I didn’t believe this could happen…I’m HEALING. My circumstances haven’t changed and there are still many things I would like to be different but apparently that doesn’t matter.

This moment encouraged me that things truly wont always be so hard. That things are moving. That my heart is healing and God is transforming the pain into something life giving. I have spent many hours and journal pages writing about healing…physical healing…emotional healing…spiritual healing. It is an amazing process. I will write more on the blog when I get back to my storm survival posts. But even with all my writing/processing the idea of healing is still a great mystery to me and one that I have had to absolutely trust God with. I can’t even count the number of times I wrote this in my various journals over the last 2 years:

Jesus, I know you see the pain in my heart…it hurts. I know that I can’t heal it on my own. I need you. I trust you alone to heal me. I trust you to work all this out for my good and your glory.

I have trusted this in my core for the last 2 years and I will admit that sometimes it is extremely difficult to keep trusting…day after never ending day when it feels like nothing is happening. There were seasons when life seemed to be getting worse rather than better. Things aren’t working out on my timeline. But I keep (attempting to) wake up trusting and I have learned that God’s healing is never superficial. The moments when things felt like they were getting worse he was cutting cancer out of my life and scrubbing old wounds with antiseptic. I still have no idea how my life will work out practically but I am able to live with more freedom and love than I ever have in the past. And I wouldn’t give that back for anything.

Happy Monday,

Lynnea

Photo: www.ilovedevotionals.com

Keep the Faith

These last couple weeks have been tough. I realize in the difficult times I tend to not write as much. I guess I’m not inspired. I feel a bit sorry for myself. I don’t have much energy…I try not to push myself too hard. I have been missing family a lot recently and feeling the full weight and isolation of living alone in a foreign country. The side effects of my medicine have been brutal as the summer temperatures climb and in general I have just felt suffocated by the things that are unknown and the things that are out of my control.

I have my bad moments. I don’t like them but it’s honest. I’m not endlessly positive…I can throw myself a pretty good pity party. I reached a point on Monday where I just needed to get out of town. Somehow being alone in an unfamiliar place is better than being alone in a familiar place. Through a last minute cancellation I was able to head up to a friend’s place on Ameland for a few days.

This has been just the right mental break for me. I don’t have any real answers to my questions but God is gently restoring my perspective.

I was incredibly encouraged by the story of Peter walking on the water in Matthew this morning:

Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them (the disciples) and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits “A Ghost!” they said crying out in terror.

But Jesus quick to comfort them “Courage it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”

He said, “Come ahead”

Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”

The two of them climbed into the boat and the wind died down.

Matthew 14:24-33 (parentheses mine)

Peter can sometimes get a bad rap in this story. The Message translates it as “Faint-heart, what got into you?” The NIV says “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” I really empathize with Peter. At the beginning of the story it’s the 12 disciples…in a boat…in the middle of the lake…in the middle of a storm. Not a very nice place to be. I don’t know if they were sleeping but at 4:00 in the morning they were probably a bit groggy and then they see Jesus on the water. What the? I’d be terrified too!!

Peter tends to be the bold, impulsive one so once Jesus lets them know it’s OK he immediately asks to join him. My paraphrase of his question is:

Master, if it’s you…ask me to do something I can ONLY do by your power…ask me to do something I would never be able to do on my own! And Jesus does.

And then Peter jumps out of the boat excited to join Jesus…he takes some steps and then there’s a moment when reality catches up with him. Hey, wait a minute?! I’m walking on the water!! In a storm!! This is impossible!! And he shifts his gaze from Jesus to the churning water beneath his feet…that’s when he begins to sink.

Even with his sinking I have respect for Peter. The other 11 disciples stayed in the boat where they didn’t need to risk anything. Peter stepped out of security toward Jesus.

I feel like I am Peter in this story. I’m not walking on water literally. But in a season of my life where fears…and insecurities…and doubts…and pain were crashing against my heart like the waves against that boat…I saw Jesus standing there. I knew there was a way forward toward him but it was a path I couldn’t walk on my own strength…

Jesus, if it’s really you…ask me to do something I can ONLY do by your power.

Ask me to love when it is the last thing I want.
Ask me to trust when I don’t see the path but long to be healed
Ask me to forgive when it costs me so much.
Ask me to have faith that you wont let me sink.
Ask me to be confident that you will provide what I need
Ask me to have hope when things feel impossible.

Because in pursuing these questions I am no longer protecting my heart in the boat but RISKING…and it produces both fear and excitement…and life. I am being absolutely transformed.

I’ve spent the last few weeks focused on the fear and the waves at my feet rather than Jesus in front of me and I’ve been sinking. I’m thankful that he wont let me go down and is so gently shifting my focus back to him.

Sometimes Storm Survival is just recognizing the moments when your perspective is off…and shifting it back to where your strength/power comes from.

Blessings,

Lynnea

Dance of Healing

Two steps forward. One step back. Spin to the left. Spin to the right. Hop step…Two steps forward. One step back…

Just following the melody of the music. Just dancing to the unforced rhythm of grace.photo

This blog has been a bit quiet recently partly because it’s summer (finally) and partly because I have been navigating another wave of sadness as birthdays, summer holidays and anniversaries pass. I can’t control it. I never know when it will hit. I’m learning not to judge it. I’m trying to just roll with it. It is not easy.

I am a linear thinker. I like to have a goal, develop a plan and then execute. This healing journey has been anything BUT linear. I feel like I have a goal but the path forward seems more like an obscure maze than a straightforward plan.

What can I do? Try not to fight so hard and just let it pass. Learn to trust more deeply that God knows what I need and WILL be faithful to provide. But it is hard and there are times when I feel like I am learning the same lesson over and over. Some days I feel like I can see progress…others I feel like I am going backward. I don’t like going backward. I’m attempting to see those moments as not actually going “backward” but taking one more step in this dance of healing. Someday I will reach my goal. Someday I will be able to look back on the big picture…on the beautiful dance God choreographed. But for now it’s just:

Two steps forward. One step back. Spin to the left. Spin to the right. Hop step….

Happy Monday,

Lynnea

Happy Birthday to me

lmw:

This was a post I wrote last year for my birthday…in between chemo rounds 4 and 5. A lot of what I learned is still relevant for this year so here you go again. :-)
This birthday is hard…the hardest one yet…there isn’t a lot for me to say. I am so thankful for good friends in Groningen…but I am acutely aware of the people that are missing. I know there is hope and positive things on the horizon but I will give myself the space to be sad. In the midst of it I know God loves me so profoundly and feel like He has his arms wrapped tight around me. It’s comforting. A good cry, a deep breath and a glass of wine will be the plan for tonight. Happy Wednesday.
Blessings,
Lynnea

Originally posted on Burning Brightly:

Tomorrow is my birthday…the big 32. Big? I can hear the sarcastic snort from anyone older than me through my computer. :-) I know I’m still young but I feel like this year has

I’m a Cancer with Cancer…fitting :-)

aged me physically and mentally in ways that are difficult to describe. I’ve never been a big birthday celebration person. Most of the time a few friends at a pub and a nice dinner are more than enough. My birthday has always felt like a normal day and I let it pass with a mild interest and add another digit to my age. This year is different. This year I feel very profoundly that we don’t know how many birthdays we will get. That absolutely nothing in this life is guaranteed. My perspective right now is a bit colored by news I received this weekend of a fellow “chemo-cise” exercise…

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Fear of the Pain

I’ve decided that the next few “Storm Survival” posts will center around my experience with healing wounds…both physical and emotional. These difficult seasons often involve wounds. Wounds we have from the past, wounds we have given ourselves, wounds others have given us, wounds from circumstances. This past year I have been on the receiving end of some pretty deep blows which brought me to a very raw place. The type of rawness/hurt that made me want to take my heart, tuck it away in a locked box and throw away the key. It will be safe there. But healing doesn’t happen in the box. Healing happens when we allow the “healing process” that I wrote about on Monday. Which means keeping our hearts exposed and accessible…this can be vulnerable…scary and down right hard. I think the fear of the pain and uncertainty involved is what can keep people from engaging the process and true healing. It is easier/safer to choose the box and protect our hearts from further hurts.

If you follow this blog you will know about my recent physical wound which is teaching me so much about healing. After the accident I knew I would need stitches and my colleague took me to a local general doctor or “Huisarts”. From my experience they don’t actually DO much except act as a gate keeper for the rest of the medical system. Typically, I show up for a 10 minute appointment…they ask me some questions to determine the nature of the problem…and then if they decide it is severe enough they will refer me on to a specialist. I was fully expecting to have the cut evaluated and then be sent to a hospital to have the stitches put in.

WELL after the doctor evaluated the wound, and gave me the “You’re very lucky” speech, he reached for his suture kit to clean it and put the stitches in.Helium pain

WAIT! Hold up…YOU are going to do this? Now?! My brain was racing. I wasn’t quite mentally prepared and nowhere in his kit did I see any anesthetic. YOU are going to put stitches in WITHOUT giving me any pain medicine?! Ummmm. I have had stitches before and they numbed the area so well that I couldn’t feel it for another 6 hours. Now, NOTHING!! Crap, this is going to hurt. This is going to hurt A LOT! Immediately, the fear of the pain gripped me. OK, deep breath…I don’t have much of a choice. Another deep breath and I closed my eyes…it should be over quickly.

And you know what? It wasn’t nearly as bad as I had built it up in my head. My imagination was so much worse and the FEAR of the unknown and “what could be” ran away with me. It wasn’t nice. And, yes, it hurt but I needed it for healing and apparently I didn’t need anything to numb the pain.

It made me think of all the things I can allow FEAR to build up in my head. And how often I think I NEED something I don’t. I am not saying that healing deep emotional wounds is the same as getting stitches. There are things that can and probably will really hurt…but for me the healing on the other side is worth it. And we don’t do it alone. I’m learning to trust more and more that God really is who He says He is. He wants nothing more than to heal our wounds. Honestly, it can sometimes be hard for me to know how to relate to an invisible God ESPECIALLY in a crisis. But He has been faithful over and over. Part of my healing this year has come from learning how to trust Him completely and learning that He really will keep me from going down. He really will! He loves me more than I can imagine and has spent the last year and a half showing me what that looks/feels like. It’s been incredible. And as difficult as this season has been I wouldn’t want to go back. I LIKE the person I am…and THAT is freedom.

It is tough to give REAL practical tips for this that don’t sound cliche but I’ll give it a shot:

  1. Don’t do this alone. Find friends or a community to surround you. If you have some deep pain/heart ache try working with a counselor. We’ve all got wounds and we can’t heal on our own. We need community.
  2. Pray A LOT. He will be faithful to answer just don’t be surprised if it is not how you expect
  3. Read the bible – learn the promises it has for you. My favorite this year:

    Don’t Panic. I’m with you.
    There’s no need for fear for I’m your God.
    I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
    I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

    The poor and homeless are desperate for water,
    their tongues parched and no water to be found.
    But I’M there to be found, I’M there for them,
    and I, God of Israel, will not leave them thirsty.
    Isaiah 41:10, 17 (The Message)

Blessings,

Lynnea

 

Does time heal all wounds?

I have often heard “Time heals all wounds”. But does it really? Is it time or something more that heals wounds? I have become fascinated with how our body heals since cancer andTime heals wounds? especially since my accident in the lab 10 days ago. As this physical wound heals, I can see many parallels to the process of healing emotional wounds. But, no, time does not heal wounds. Allowing time for the “healing process” to take place is what heals wounds. These might look like the same thing on the outside but are very different in practice.

I am normally more of a physics girl and only tolerated the biological sciences when they were necessary for my degree. Recently, I have been more curious about what is happening “behind the scenes” in my body. Cancer was a wake up call that our physiology doesn’t always work the way it is supposed to and natural processes in our body can go haywire. Our bodies are extremely complex and the more I learn the more I am surprised that things don’t go wrong more often.

When we are physically wounded (wound: an injury to living tissue caused by a cut, blow or other impact – typically where the skin is broken) it kicks off a chain reaction of healing processes as our body’s defense systems turn on. I’m not going to go into it deeply but will give a brief description of each stage. If you are more interested this was a very straightforward explanation…plus a boring and informative helpful Youtube video here. There are 4 primary phases of wound healing:

  1. Hemostasis: (within minutes of the initial injury) Constricts blood vessels and stimulates clotting to stop the bleeding
  2. Inflammation: (typically up to 4 days) Redness, swelling, warmth, and pain are typical symptoms as the first responding white blood cells clean out debris and stop infection
  3. Proliferative/Granulation: (4-21 days) Establishes the frame work for new tissue and repairing the various damage (skin layers, other tissue, blood vessels, and capillaries)
  4. Remodeling/Maturation: (up to 2 years) Increasing the strength of the new tissue

2 years!! This is longer than I expected when I started researching. It has only been 10 Healingdays and the cut on my wrist is dramatically improved. It blows my mind that my body will keep working on the fragile new tissue to make it stronger for the months to come.

My body is not passively allowing time to pass but is moving through the healing stages by actively fighting bacteria, rebuilding new tissue and repairing damage. Healing starts with the first 2 intense and painful stages…follows with creating something new but fragile…and finishes with a strengthening stage. I believe we go through similar stages with emotional wounds and time does help in reducing the pain…but without some work in cleaning and removing bacteria we are at risk of an infection and will never be able to build something new and strong.

I will leave my rambling Monday thoughts there but will write more in the days to come.

Blessings,

Lynnea

Near miss or God’s protection?

I am not normally one to over spiritualize things…but there are moments when you just Miracle flower croptake a step back and go WOAH. Not in the Joey from Blossom kind of way but with awe and humility recognize that sometimes there are things in this world we cannot explain. You see, I came very close to not being able to type this. I believe that the tendons in my left hand should be damaged leaving my fingers useless for a season. The Doctor told me I am very VERY lucky but somehow I don’t believe that luck had anything to do with it. This is where I am going to tread lightly because I know that there are times when bad things DO happen and we don’t feel protected by God. There are heart breaking stories and painful seasons when we feel God let us down. It is not my job to explain why and why not certain things happen. But I feel that I was protected last week and specifically I feel like this blog was protected.

Before I get to the story I am going to summarize the primary lessons/messages I am learning and writing about. I am in the midst of a very uncertain/painful season but I still have HOPE. I feel like I want to write about this hope while the story is unfolding…before I know the ending. I am learning more profoundly how much God loves us. Abundantly. Completely. Beyond what we can imagine. He sees our wounds and wants nothing more than to heal them. There truly is NOTHING we can do to separate ourselves from his love. He will go to the ends of the earth to win us back.

After last week all I want to do is proclaim this more loudly because it is a truth that resonates deep in my soul…it is not always easy to live out but as I continue to fight for love, compassion, mercy and forgiveness God is transforming my heart and I feel peace, joy and freedom to a level I have never experienced. If you look at my practical circumstances there are a lot of good reasons to lose hope but I haven’t. There are a lot of reasons to fall into despair but I haven’t. There are a lot of ways I could give in to anger and bitterness but I haven’t. I have my bad moments and I make choices around this daily but literally every morning and evening I pray through an image of holding up the pieces of my heart to God for healing and restoration. I KNOW that I’m not doing this on my own and it truly is God’s grace at work. In the midst of it…I have chosen to let you in on the process…and this is a story of healing and redemption that I’m sure the enemy would love to silence.

OK…now for the story…and again I am not going to over spiritualize or over dramatize. As I was making breakfast on Thursday morning I had a kind of “daydream” (vision?) about what this blog could become…something that would be many months away but a direction that could bring healing, authenticity and encouragement to a lot of hurting people. I thought…that’s nice but something I will hold loosely because it is so far in the future and there are MANY things that need to happen and change in between. So I focused on the present and continued making my sandwich and eating my cereal.

Two hours later, in the lab, I was working with a model of a new coffee spout I am helping to develop. It was 2 pieces glued together and I needed to cut them apart to get to the inner chamber. I sat down and said to myself that I need to be careful because the Stanley knife (Box Cutter) is VERY sharp. I have cut these pieces apart MANY times before and I know the rule about always holding the blade away from you…I promise I follow it most of the time. But there are moments when the leverage I need to apply requires turning the knife the other direction. I wasn’t moving too quick and I didn’t think I was being careless but the knife slipped and gave me a deep 1 inch cut on the inside of my left wrist. This is a very vulnerable spot and for a few moments I sat in shock about what just happened. I put pressure on it and my colleagues were great in getting me bandaged up and off to the doctor. There was a lot of blood but it wasn’t pulsing so I figured I hadn’t hit a main artery and I could move all my fingers. Both VERY good things. I knew I would need stitches and I felt very embarrassed that I had hurt myself like this…but I didn’t realize how close I came to doing major damage.

The Doctor was a very nice older gentleman. He didn’t speak much English but the 2 words he repeated a few times were VERY LUCKY…sometimes while shaking his head…very VERY lucky. He made some hand motions about my tendons (I had a colleague with me to help translate :-) ) and commented that the cut was within 1 mm (less than the thickness of a dime) of damaging them. He popped 2 stitches in and sent me on my way. I still didn’t completely understand how lucky protected I was until I took the photobandage off.

This is a heavily edited photo but it was the only way I could get the cut and the tendons to stand out. You see that the cut was originally following a different path but the moment it would have done major damage it turned and traveled perfectly parallel to the tendon – within 1 mm. When I think about the physics of the way the knife was moving there is no good reason for the path of the knife to abruptly change. Honestly, it feels like it should have continued along that original path…but if it had I wouldn’t be sitting at a computer writing this. I would be recovering from surgery and looking at months of rehabilitation to regain the use of my fingers. No blog for a while. No jewelry for a while.

So…I will leave it at that. I am feeling EXTREMELY THANKFUL that I can still type this and I will respond to a few common comments before you get the chance to make them :-) :

  1. Yes, I promise to be extra, EXTRA, EXTRA careful
  2. Yes, I know there are easier ways to quit my job and honestly I don’t find suicide jokes particularly funny
  3. No, this has nothing to do with my being a woman…it probably has more to do with my inability to concentrate on Tamoxifen and the fact that I get 4 hours of sleep a night.

Not the usual Storm Survival post for a Wednesday but wanted to share the excitement in my life…I will never take this blog for granted. :-)

Blessings,

Lynnea

Wounds

lmw:

I have been thinking a lot about wounds this week…primarily because I accidentally gave myself a pretty bad cut. I will write more about it on Wednesday but thought it was nice to reblog a post from this past fall.
Happy Monday,
Lynnea

Originally posted on Burning Brightly:

What are wounds? When most of us think about them we probably think of physical wounds. We think of the time we fell off our bike and scraped our knee or cut our hand while cooking. Wounds HURT. They compromise the integrity of our skin defense and allow bacteria in. They typically require action on our part to clean them and bandage them to prevent infection…but sometimes they become infected despite our best efforts.

Emotional wounds are harder to recognize and even harder to treat. We all have them. Some have more than others. They are the product of hearts interacting in an imperfect world. We can wound people even when we don’t mean to. We can especially wound people when we mean to. We can have wounds from our childhood and family or previous relationships…we can inflict them on ourselves with our choices. They can be caused by an…

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Boundaries

I have been thinking about this post for a while…not sure how to write it but knowing that itBoundaries is important. I decided to turn it into another book review because this topic will never be covered in a single blog entry…it is difficult to cover in a single book. I first read the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend in college and have since re-read it. Boundaries define who we are. They allow us to love and serve others in freedom rather than obligation. When you say YES to things…let it be honest and not motivated by guilt. Allow yourself to say NO to things without fear of judgement. This doesn’t happen by accident but through intentional choices and practice.

As I have been navigating through this storm season, establishing authentic boundaries has been a common theme. During the cancer treatment I had to decide what I was able to handle and what I wasn’t. AND THEN…I had to be OK with my decision…even if it was hard for other people to understand and accept. Outside of cancer I had to evaluate what emotions I was responsible for…and what emotions I wasn’t. AND THEN take responsibility or let go depending on what side of the line it fell on. I can only make decisions about things I am in control of but I can’t make decisions for someone else. Recognizing this and applying it has (at times) been hard but absolutely freeing! Encouraging someone is not the same as doing it for them.

The difficult seasons in life have a tendency to aggravate bad boundaries which makes it all the more important to establish healthy ones.

This is the book description from the front flap:

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives:

  • Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances
  • Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions
  • Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others.
  • Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator.

Often Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries they ask:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • What are legitimate boundaries?
  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy or money?
  • Aren’t boundaries selfish?
  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?

If any of these questions resonated with you I would HIGHLY recommend getting your hands on a copy of this book.

Here are a few good quotes:

“Learn to love in freedom and responsibility not in guilt. Boundaries in no way mean to stop loving. They mean the opposite: You are gaining freedom to love. It is good to sacrifice and deny yourself for the sake of others but you need freedom to make that choice.” page 135

“Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused. We are to love one another, not be one another. I can’t feel your feelings for you. I can’t work through the disappointment that limits bring for you. In short, I can’t grow for you; only you can….You are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself.” page 86

“The point is this: we were called into freedom, and this freedom results in gratitude, an overflowing heart, and love for others. To give bountifully has great reward. It is truly more blessed to give than receive. If your giving is not leading to cheer, then you need to examine the Law of Motivation…which says: Freedom first, service second. If you serve to get free of your fear, you are doomed to failure. Let God work on the fears, resolve them, and create some healthy boundaries to guard the freedom you were called to.” page 93

“A boundary is a property line. It defines where you begin and end…You do not exist in a vacuum. You exist in relation to God and others. Your boundaries define you in relation to others.” page 100

Practical suggestions:

  1. Get and read the book. :-)

To letting your yes be yes and your no be no…and surviving another week.

Lynnea