I don’t really like pink. In fact, I might even say I dislike it. There is no real reason why its just never been my color. Maybe it has something to do with being a hardcore engineer or maybe because I was born in the 80’s and saw so many different horrible shades that I developed an aversion to it. I can’t ever remember liking it…except for Barbie’s pink corvette. She always seemed to have a way of pulling it off. In general I’m OK with disliking it and have normally left the pink wearing in our family to my rock star sister-in-law Sarah and her fabulous daughter Jadrianne.
But, after I found out I had Breast Cancer it seemed like I saw pink everywhere and even opened myself up to purchasing a few things. Gasp! People have told me that I don’t HAVE to like pink now…I know, and I still don’t really. But the color reminds me of all the women who have gone before me in this fight. It is comforting and sometimes feels like armor against the anxiety of the unknown. I don’t know how my body will react to chemo. There are a ton of scary potential side effects…I had to go to the dentist last week to make sure my teeth won’t fall out. I don’t know a single person who is excited for chemo and says that is fun. So, I am certain it will be rough and am bracing myself for some tough days. But I am not the first and draw strength knowing that there are many people in the same position I am. I can and will do this one day at a time.
That being said I got the call this morning for my first of six chemo appointments. It will be this Thursday at 10:30 am Amsterdam time. I have been told it will take 4-5 hours because they give me quite a cocktail of different drugs. For you medical folks out there I am on the TAC regimen (DoceTaxel, Adriamycine, Cyclofosfamide). And will now receive an IV dose every 3 weeks.
This is when things will get heavier and we appreciate your prayers. Please pray specifically for:
- A good night’s sleep on Wednesday…no anxiety
- Getting the IV started on the first try. I have extremely difficult veins and can now only use my right arm for blood draws and IVs. After the IVF and other blood tests my right arm is extremely sore from getting poked so many times. (Most people need a couple tries to get it)
- Minimal side effects