This still feels very surreal to write. We bought a house. Actually…God provided a house and then provided the means for us to purchase it. Opening absolutely EVERY door. We weren’t in the market. In fact, if it was up to me and my timeline we wouldn’t be in the market for several years. Jonathan and I were just beginning to have an idea of what stability in our marriage could maybe, possibly look like…and the pain of the past was nowhere close to fully healed. We were still neck deep in the muck slogging it out with a counselor. Making progress but definitely not ready for home shopping. The mere thought of entering the house hunt in Seattle made me want to curl up in my cozy little rental, bury my face in my Netflix queue and forget about it. Until God showed up.
I am careful to not over spiritualize these things because undoubtedly there will be people who read this and are fervently praying for their own home and waiting on God for the right property and moment. I also do not want to discount the very practical way that God intervenes and provides in our lives. It is a tension we live in as Christians since we do not have the full understanding of God’s ways. But for us, this was clearly from God.
How do I know? We were not looking for a house. We were out to lunch sharing our story. Our journey is mired with pain and darkness but there is an undeniable redemptive arc that has played through it all. Our situation, in all practical ways, seemed beyond hope and restoration but we have lived (and are living) an absolute miracle. It has been a difficult journey but we know God will use our testimony to speak His hope into many more lives. We don’t yet know how this will fully play out but God had given Jonathan a specific vision.
The home we establish will be a sanctuary. A sanctuary for people whose lives/marriages are in the initial stages of trauma recovery and they need a safe space to stay. To breathe. To catch glimpses of hope even though it feels beyond what is possible. It was to be called “The Haven”. Wow, right? He’d had this vision several times. I like my space and if I’m totally honest the entire concept overwhelmed me. I’m fine connecting with people on my terms but to have them in our home?…our space?…yikes. WAY outside my comfort zone. Good thing we live in the red hot Seattle housing market where it is difficult to afford a normal family home let alone a space that can accommodate this…right God? Right? Forget getting into the housing market this particular vision felt like MANY years down the road. And I was OK with that.
Until it wasn’t. Until our friends, after hearing the vision, mentioned that they were looking to put a home on the market that matched what Jonathan described. A home we could occupy NOW that makes this vision not only possible but sustainable. And not just the vision of ministry but my own personal vision of the house I would love to make a home. Down to the smallest details. Details I thought I would need to settle on but he provided abundantly more. I have shed many tears reflecting on how well God knows me and how much He loves me. I have also reflected on how he gently molds me because the only way this home is financially sustainable is if there are people living in it with us. OK deep breath…time to let go of some control and sacrifice some personal space.
It was still an overwhelming decision. Buying a home is overwhelming in its own right because it’s a huge amount of money and responsibility but it was also overwhelming because we weren’t ready. Personally, this was doubling down on a process that was still…IN PROCESS. It forced us to decide and act based on how committed we were to seeing this through. Sounds easy? In reality…not so easy. But through personal prayer and engaging our community it was clear this was the right move. So we moved into the uncertainty…trusting that He WILL work our healing and restoration out to completion.
I could take photos and create my own Pinterest worthy montage of images but that feels too intimate for the blog. This home. This space feels like a love letter to us. A way for God to establish a new beginning. A Haven for us and for those who are clinging to hope. I am humbled and in awe He has blessed us in this way and I am preparing my heart for what the future will hold. In whatever timeline God has because goodness knows I am unable to predict.