I lift my eyes up

We have received so much support from around the world as we begin to navigate this new path and cherish it.  But, after I got out of the hospital we received some notes with phrases like “So thankful that the big step is done” or “You are now on the road to recovery”.  Just so everyone who is following our process is clear: Surgery was a big step but it was an easy (relatively speaking) step and it was certainly not “the big step”.  The reason why I say it was easy is because I still feel like the same person I was before, obviously minus a certain something. 🙂  I feel strong and healthy. My arm is sore and I have less energy while my body is healing but I still can and want to do everything I did before. That will change. The mountains will come. 

This is not meant as a depressive post but a recognition of how we are preparing our hearts for the coming season.  I fully expect to be on the road to recovery but recognize there are the “Alpine stages” between where I am now and that road.  A great description about breast cancer is that the cancer doesn’t make you sick…the treatment does.  And you go through it because you recognize that the treatment is necessary to heal you but it can kick the crap out of you for a while. So, as we look ahead making it through Chemo is “the big step”.

While we were at Alpes d’Huez I spent a lot of time looking at the mountains.  I had almost forgotten what they look like living in the flat, flat, flat north Netherlands. 🙂  And the Alps are majestic with steep peaks and valleys that spread out on all sides.  It made me feel very small but thankful that I know the God that created them…and as we begin the ascents…I know where my help will come from.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.


7 thoughts on “I lift my eyes up

  1. Dare I say, that you are indeed on the road TO recovery, not the road OF recovery? Either way, it’ll be more than a bumpy ride.. So hold on tight to Him! Thanks for the update and your insights….. Glad to read that currently you seem to be doing ok…. ❤

  2. Love your updates Lynnea… continuing to pray for you. Have you gotten any more results back about the tumor? Or when treatment – the real ‘mountain’ – begins? Love you! Jennie

  3. This is my most favorite psalm! I say the first stanza constantly to myself- I am so so so so glad that you are looking up and knowing that you are not alone and that God, the creater of all things amazing, is with you every step of every day. I have shared your blog with friends and families so that they can continue to pray for you- and continue to be inspired by your faith and courage. Fight on!!!
    ~Jess Van Deusen

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